What If
by Prongs4
Summary: What if Hermione was in Ravenclaw, Ron was in Hufflepuff, Harry in Slytherin, and Draco in Gryffindor? For light humor and an interesting AU: READ! (AND REVIEW) Update Chapter 4!
1. The Sorting

Chapter One

                Harry was sitting in the train when the red-haired boy he'd seen earlier entered the compartment. 

                "Can I sit here?" he asked

                "Sure," Harry answered.

                (Same as book until…)

                "My brothers Bill and Charlie were in Gryffindor like my parents, but my brother Percy was put in Ravenclaw, no doubt why though, he's always studying-gets annoying after awhile though.  My twin brothers-Fred and George were put in Slytherin, probably because they're always joking around…mum wasn't too happy about that.  They really aren't that bad though.  I want to be in Gryffindor though-to carry on the family tradition my grandparents started."  Ron told Harry.

                Harry sat there thinking.  He just hoped he wasn't in Slytherin-even though they didn't all turn out bad…well it didn't seem that way.

                (Same as book until they go into sorting)

                They walked down the rows of tables to the very front where there was a chair with an old raggedy hat placed on top.  All of the sudden the hat opened up and burst into song.  (Same song as book).

                After the song ended the professor that had greeted them said, "Now, when I call your name you come up here and place the hat on your head…_Hannah Abbot." She screeched their names in a high pitched voice. A girl with pig tails went up, sat down and put the hat on…._

                _"Ravenclaw!" The hat boomed the houses_

_                "Susan Bones"_

_                "Gryffindor!"_

_                "Terry Boot!"_

_                "Gryffindor!"_

                Two Gryffindor's already…

                _"Mandy Brocklehurst!"_

_                "Slytherin!"_

_                "Lavender Brown!"_

_                "Hufflepuff!"_

_                "Millicent Bulstrode!"_

_                "Hufflepuff!"_

_                "Vincent Crabbe!"_

A few seconds later the hat declares "_What are you doing here? Go away and come back when you get a brain! There's no house for you!"  _The boy walked away with a huge smile on his face.

                "How stupid is he?" Harry whispered to Ron.

                _"Justin Finch-Fletchly!_

_                "Ravenclaw!"_

_                "Seamus Finnigan!"_

_                "Slytherin!"_

_                "Hermione Granger!"_

_                "Ravenclaw!"_

                She bounded off to join Percy Weasley at her table.

                _"Gregory Goyle!"_

Just like Crabbe, the hat sent him away saying he was to stupid to be there, but unlike Crabbe he actually looked upset about it and as he was walking away he fell down the stairs, hit his head on the Hufflepuff table, cracked it in half and fell unconscious.

                "Oh dear," Professor Dumbledore said and with a wave of his wand, the Hufflepuff table was fixed and Goyle was put on a stretcher and sent out the door.

                Neville Longbottom, the stupid boy who kept losing his toad, was incredulously put in Ravenclaw, but forgot to take the hat off so he ran and gave it to McGonagall   He must of had brains somewhere in his head or else the hat made a mistake to put him in Ravenclaw.

_                "Morag MacDougal"_

_                "Slytherin!"_

_                "Draco Malfoy!"_

                Malfoy walked up with an air of confidence and put the hat on his head. After about 10 minutes the hat boomed, _"Gryffindor!"_

                Malfoy walked to his seat crying.

                Harry rolled his eyes towards Malfoy indicating to Ron how stupid Malfoy was.

                After many more people were sorted, Pansy Parkinson walked up and got sorted into Hufflepuff. 

Then it was Harry's turn, he walked up sat down and put the hat on.  (Hat says same as book except) "well, you would be best in…_Slytherin_!!"

                Harry glanced at Ron and Ron shrugged.  He walked over to the Slytherin table and the Weasley twins were shouting "We got Potter! We got Potter!"

                After that Lisa Turpin joined Slytherin with him and then it was Ron's turn.  Ron went up; put the hat on his head.  A few seconds later it yelled _"Hufflepuff!"_

                Harry was a little disappointed but quickly got over when Blasé Zambini was put in Ravenclaw and Dumbledore told them to begin eating!  Food appeared in front of them.

                Harry plunged into his food.  Literally

                "So," Fred asked, "How do you like Slytherin so far?"

                Harry shrugged "it's all right"

                "Yeah, our mum basically disowned us when we were put in here" George said.

                "Really," Harry asked.

                The twins nodded vigorously.  "She's getting over it now though; she started inviting us home at Christmas last year!"

                "That's great…."Harry said nervously.

                "And she fed us last summer, though her cooking couldn't compare to Hogwarts," Fred said.

                "Yeah," George continued dreamily, "all the sugars and fat and grease they put in this stuff."

                Harry's stomach moaned.

                "Don't worry, you'll adapt to the grease" Fred said.

                After the main course, deserts appeared, they were delicious.  Following desert the plates became clear and they all sang the school song, with the twins ending with a slow funeral note.  Professor Dumbledore laughed.

                Fred whispered to Harry "I always wonder why we just don't do the national anthem,"

                "Yeah," said George, "it'd be a lot shorter."

                "And more fun," Fred added.

                They all stood up and followed the Slytherin prefects down to the dungeon where their house was.  The dungeons were quite cool but when they entered the common room they were greeted with warmth.  Harry found his dorm room it was a room with 5 beds.  Harry glanced around to find that his stuff was already there by his bed.  After meeting the other boys in his dorm: Seamus, Morag, Timothy and Cornelius, Harry laid down in his bed and fell quickly asleep


	2. Potions, Charms, and Herbology

*AUTHORS NOTE* Sorry about the long wait. There hasn't been much time. I hope you like this chapter!! (  
  
The next day Harry woke up to a small hoot. It was Hedwig! Harry glanced at his clock, 7:00, just on time.  
  
Harry went down to the common room after getting ready, Fred and George were setting off fireworks.  
  
"C'mon Harry!" one called.  
  
"Yeah, c'mon!" cried the other.  
  
Harry went over to them and picked up a firework, suddenly it blew up in his face. Fred and George laughed hysterically. Harry sighed and went upstairs to change.  
  
"Do you wanna walk to breakfast together?" Harry heard a small voice ask. Harry turned around, it was Seamus Finnagin.  
  
"Sure," Harry replied.  
  
They walked to the door to the outer dungeons. In front of their door was a sleeping Draco Malfoy with a blanket and his thumb in his mouth.  
  
"What's up with him?" Seamus asked.  
  
"I think he wanted to be in Slytherin," Harry whispered back.  
  
"Ha," Seamus replied, "Slytherin is only for real men."  
  
The two boys walked the rest of the way to the great hall chuckling. When they arrived, they heard a familiar voice, it was Ron! "Over here Harry! Come sit with me!" he called.  
  
"Hold on," someone behind Harry said as he neared the table. "Slytherin doesn't eat with Hufflepuff." It was Fred.  
  
"Or Ravenclaw or Gryffindor for that matter," said George.  
  
Harry looked at Ron and shrugged then followed Fred and George to the Slytherin table.  
  
Harry sat down and looked at his food. It was watery scrambled eggs and really fatty bacon. Yuck. Harry was so hungry though that he ate every bite.  
  
"There's got to be better food around here somewhere," he mumbled to Seamus, Seamus nodded.  
  
After breakfast they headed to their first class, potions.  
  
When they arrived they were greeted by an evil looking man- Professor Snape. Professor Snape glared at Harry, but smiled slightly at Seamus. When they all were seated, Professor Snape took role call, when he reached Malfoy, Draco, none answered. A second later they were interupted by footsteps. Draco Malfoy entered the room with a blanket, messy hair and a tired face.  
  
"Where were you Malfoy?" Snape growled.  
  
"No one woke me up," He answered.  
  
"What do you mean no one woke you up? Everyone else in your filthy house is here!" Snape said.  
  
"Um, Professor Snape, sir," Seamus raised his hand.  
  
"What do you want Finnigan," Snape replied.  
  
"I know where Malfoy was," Seamus evilly grinned.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Sleeping outside the Slytherin common room door," Seamus said.  
  
"What? That's ridiculous. Is this true Malfoy?"  
  
Draco nodded slowly.  
  
"Slytherin is only for real men," Snape told him. "10 points from Gryffindor."  
  
"What?" Draco protested.  
  
"You heard me," Snape replied, "Now sit down or else I'll take more points from Gryffindor."  
  
Draco slumped into a seat. A girl in his class lent him some paper and a pen and class began.  
  
"Now let's see here, Potter, Harry," Snape glanced up, "yes, Harry Potter, our new celebrity. In Slytherin too. Your parents would be ashamed. They were in Gryffindor you know. Quite stuck-up too. Well, maybe you'll turn out different than them. Slytherin will shape you up."  
  
When Snape looked away, Harry glared at him. How dare he make fun of his parents like that. "What do you have against them, Professor Snape?" Harry asked sarcastically.  
  
"Don't talk to me in that tone of voice young man, I have nothing against them, nothing." He crumpled the piece of paper he was holding.  
  
"Yeah right," Seamus whispered to Harry.  
  
"Now, anymore outbursts like that and I will remove points from my own house." Snape said.  
  
The rest of the class went without problems. Harry figured it was best to be quiet. Slytherin ended up winning 10 points and Gryffindor lost 5 more.  
  
Harry's next class was Herbology with Ravenclaw. Harry eventually found his way to Greenhouse number one but was 2 minutes late.  
  
Professor Sprout was the Herbology teacher. "Why are you late?" she asked Harry and Seamus as they raced through the doors.  
  
"We got lost," Harry panted.  
  
"Oh, all right," she muttered, "just don't be late again."  
  
Harry and Seamus nodded and took their seats next to a girl with bushy blonde hair.  
  
"In this class," Professor Sprout began, "you will learn about magical plants and how to use them. It is important to pay attention so you will not do something horribly wrong. Now, let's do some pop questions to see how well you read the book."  
  
"We had to read the book?" Harry asked Seamus. Seamus shrugged.  
  
"Now, the first question. What potions do you put in a tumble tree potion?"  
  
Harry glanced around, no Slytherins seemed to know, but a few Ravenclaws did. Next to him, the bushy haired girl had her hand raised high.  
  
Professor Sprout pointed to her, "yes."  
  
"Hermione Granger," the girl concluded, "you simply use root of tumble tree and a pinch of daisy dust."  
  
"Very good, five points to Ravenclaw."  
  
Hermione smiled.  
  
The rest of class went on like that. Hermione ended up getting 20 points for Ravenclaw and Slytherin only got five.  
  
Seamus and Harry left class exasperated. They had to read the entire book by the next class. They slowly walked to lunch and sat down by Fred and George.  
  
"How was the ickle first years first morning of school?" Fred teased.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, "tiring so far."  
  
"And it's only been morning!" Seamus exclaimed.  
  
"Don't worry, it only gets harder," George said.  
  
"Yes!" came a voice from behind them, it was Hermione.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked Seamus.  
  
"On my way to talk to Professor Dumbledore," She said.  
  
"Then go," he said.  
  
Hermione scowled.  
  
"All right Seamus!" Fred gave him a high five. "You've got the Slytherin spirit already!!"  
  
"How old is Professor Dumbledore anyways?" Harry asked.  
  
"About 150 or something like that," George said.  
  
"And he'll probably live about 300 years more," Fred added, "you know how advanced modern science is."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
That afternoon Harry had double Charms with Hufflepuff. (*I don't know if Slytherin would actually have charms with Hufflepuff, but let's pretend) He entered the class and ran to sit by Ron.  
  
"How are you Ron?" he asked.  
  
"What are you doing? Remember what Fred and George said? Hufflepuff and Slytherin don't sit by each other!!" Ron said. "We'll get made fun of!"  
  
Harry sighed. Teenage peer pressure was so frustrating, you had to do just the right thing. He stood up and sat by Seamus. When Harry looked back at Ron, a Hufflepuff girl was sitting by him. They were talking and both blushing constantly.  
  
'How can Ron have a girlfriend already?' Harry thought to himself.  
  
"Love potion," Seamus whispered in his ear. He must have seen Harry staring at them. "I heard Snape slipped love potion in their pumpkin juice at lunch."  
  
"That explains it," Harry whispered.  
  
Class began. They took notes the entire time about a spell called Levium Wingardosa or something like that, Harry wasn't really paying attention, him and Seamus were busy throwing spitballs at people. At the end of class they got to try the spell, instead Harry turned the feather they were supposed to make levitate into a piglet. 5 boys were on their seat frightened while Flitwick (the professor) tried to kill it with a fly swatter. She was still chasing it when the bell rang.  
  
Once again Harry and Seamus headed to the Great Hall. Dinner was liver, yuck, but if you're hungry, you eat, so that's just what Harry did.  
  
That night in their common room. Seamus was teaching Harry how to play exploding snap. They were talking and laughing about the day in Charms. When they looked up from their game, Fred and George were standing there with horrified faces.  
  
"Piglets?" Fred asked.  
  
"Yup" Seamus and Harry responded simultaneously. "Oink oink," Harry added.  
  
"Ahhh!!" Fred and George took off for their rooms.  
  
"Pigletphobia ?" Seamus asked.  
  
"Definitely," Harry responded. They cleaned up their game and headed to bed.  
  
*AUTHORS NOTE* sorry if the end of the chapter seemed a bit rushed, I was trying to get it finished. I wanted to get classes in with all Malfoy, Hermione and Ron in this chapter. I hope you all liked it!! I'd also like to thank all those people who reviewed for this the first time! Also, I promise the next chapter will be funnier and be from either Hermione or Ron's P.O.V. Prongs 


	3. Hermione Learns About Occupational Nursi...

DISCLAIMER: oops, I forgot to do this before. I own nothing, just the changed up plot, but all the characters and settings and what-not r J.K. Rowling.  
  
*Hermione's POV*  
  
The morning after the sorting, Hermione woke up with a yawn. Reflecting on the past night she smiled. She just knew that she would love her house. Most other people in her house had also read their schoolbooks and were just as anxious to learn as her.  
  
She crawled out of bed and slipped into her warm robes before heading downstairs. Downstairs a group of people were reading books about occupational nursing. *A.N. huh?* Hermione decided that it looked like tons of fun, so she went and joined the group.  
  
They sat there studying so long they only got to eat breakfast for 5 minutes and get their schedules. It was a gross breakfast anyway.  
  
After breakfast she headed to Transfiguration with Hannah Abbot and Justin Finch-Fletchly.  
  
"This subject looks so intriguing, don't you think Hannah?" Hermione said.  
  
"Simply fascinating, I can't wait to begin studying it." Hannah replied.  
  
"Well, if you ask me, I think it's useful, but simply not my subject," Justin cut-in.  
  
"Well, what do you prefer?" Hannah asked.  
  
"Herbology," Justin answered her.  
  
"Yes, Herbology, ology meaning the study of, and Herb meaning herbs. Yes, I must agree it is quite interesting," Hermione said.  
  
"Not, quite interesting, extraordinarily interesting," Justin replied.  
  
They entered the classroom, it was with Hufflepuff's (not really, but let's pretend). They sat down right in front and got ready to listen.  
  
"Good Morning class," Professor McGonagall said.  
  
"Good Morning Professor," the class replied.  
  
"For those of you who don't know me, I am Professor McGonagall. I am the head of Gryffindor and I will be teaching you the fascinating subject of Transfiguration. Now get your quills and scrolls out." She said.  
  
Hermione, Hannah and Justin got their things out. They took notes the whole class. Hermione was having the time of her life.  
  
Next they had Herbology with the Slytherins. Hermione won 20 points for Ravenclaw and was very proud of that indeed. Though, the Slytherins didn't seem to happy about only winning five. Hermione shrugged it off; Ravenclaws were 'sposed to be smarter, weren't they?  
  
"How'd you like Herbology?" Hermione asked Justin on the way to lunch.  
  
"It was fantastic," Justin said. "It will definitely be my favorite subject.  
  
"I agree," Hannah said, "though I think something like Charms may end up suiting me a little better."  
  
"I personally found Transfiguration marvelous, I want to become an Animagus someday," Hermione said.  
  
After Herbology, they headed to lunch. Hermione was talking to a 4th year about Divination. She thought it sounded stupendously wonderful. She was heading up to ask Dumbledore if she could start taking it this year instead of her 3rd year. As she was heading up, she saw Fred and George talking to. . . Harry Potter? Was it really him? The one on the train? She began running, but then got a hold of herself. 'Calm, cool and collected' she told herself and walked slowly by the Slytherin table. As she was walking she overheard two twin boys talking to Harry.  
  
"It only gets harder," they were telling him.  
  
'Did they mean school?' Hermione thought.  
  
"Yes!" She shouted. She then noticed what she did. . . she completely embarrassed herself by talking out of place around Harry Potter!!  
  
"What are you doing here?" a boy named. . . Seamus, was it? said.  
  
Hermione 'collected' herself. "On my way to talk to Professor Dumbledore," She said.  
  
"Then go," he said.  
  
  
  
Hermione stomped off, Slytherins were really mean. Then she realized Harry hadn't said a word to her, maybe he wasn't like the others. Hermione crossed her fingers and went up Dumbledore.  
  
"Excuse me professor Dumbledore sir, I. . . I was wondering, I was talking to a fellow classmate about Divination and realizing how interesting it seems, I was wondering if I might be able to start this year."  
  
"Ah, Hermione isn't it? Yes, so many Ravenclaws have come up to me before asking the same question about similar courses. . ."  
  
". . . there's others too?" Hermione interrupted, she quickly apologized, "sorry".  
  
"Yes, there are many other fascinating subjects, but I am sorry, school policy says you must be a third year to begin."  
  
"But your the headmaster, can't you change policy?" Hermione questioned.  
  
"I'm afraid not, but if Professor Trelawny's predictions are true, a Divination club may be opening soon, for all years," Professor Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"Well, though the class sounds incredibly intriguing, the club sounds absolutely marvelous, I do hope her predictions are true," Hermione stated.  
  
"Ah, but they hardly are. . . yet I feel this one may pass the Headmaster's approval."  
  
"Excellent," Hermione smiled.  
  
The afternoon passed with a breeze, which is a literal meaning because the Ravenclaws began flying lessons that afternoon. *A.N. I know they don't start right away but. ...* Though it took Hermione numerous tries, she finally got on her broom and hovered a few feet before having to touch back down. She was greatly disturbed though, most of her class was able to fly by the end of the class, but not her.  
  
As soon as she returned to the Ravenclaw common room she raced to her dorm and flopped on her bed in tears.  
  
"Why? Why can't I fly?" she cried to herself. "Am I really that stupid that I have not the brains to fly? It's not fair! Even Neville could fly! He even caught his Remembrall when he dropped it from 40 feet high!!"  
  
After what seemed for hours of depression (which actually was only 10 minutes), Hannah came in the room.  
  
"Oh, Hermione, it's okay, I couldn't even get off the ground today. At least you hovered, I am stupid. But guess what?? We're reading about Respiratory Therapy now in the common room!!!!  
  
Hermione smiled, "Yes!!! This is gonna be awesome!!!"  
  
Hermione raced to the common room where the earlier study group had been that morning. Ariah (a 6th year) had set up a blackboard and gathered old pamphlets about Respiratory Therapy.  
  
"Hey everyone, we're starting at 6:00!!!" she shouted.  
  
"Wait," Hermione said, "what about dinner?"  
  
"We've got that covered," she said. Just then some 5th year boys came in a dumped a pile of snacks on the couch.  
  
"Where'd that come from?" Hermione asked.  
  
"The kitchen," one boy said brushing his hands off.  
  
"It just so happens that as being Ravenclaws, we tend to get along with all houses pretty well, even Slytherin. Fred and George Weasley told us how to get in." another boy added.  
  
"Cool," said Hermione. She picked up a loaf of bread, broke off a piece and gave the loaf to Hannah, who in turn, did the same thing and passed it on.  
  
As soon as everyone got some food (which was amazingly only 20, apparently either Respiratory Therapy didn't interest many people- how could it not, or people voted on dinner instead in the Great Hall), they got started.  
  
The whole session lasted until 8:00, Hermione found the whole session, of course, very intriguing.  
  
After the session ended, Hermione raced to her dorm, grabbed her books and raced back down to work on her homework and read ahead in the books of the classes she had the next day, even though she had already read all the books at home.  
  
It was one in the morning when she went to bed, which was amazingly very early. About half the common room was still up, of course they were all the upper years.  
  
As Hermione climbed in bed, she couldn't help thinking of how wonderful the day had been and had already forgotten about the flying incident. She couldn't wait until her classes the next day.  
  
A.N. All right, I had Junior Shadowing, and I went to the Health session, though I want to be a teacher, but they didn't have that option, so. that's where I got occupational nursing, and respiratory therapy. hope you all liked this chapter, sorry it took so long to get up, I'm very busy. No hard feelings about Hermione's weird interests, just trying to make it funny Next chapter is Ron's P.O.V.- yay. Anyway, before I write more, I want 10 reviews just to make sure people are actually enjoying it. Thank you to all who reviewed in the past, I appreciate the reviews!! Also, go read my brother's Gratium Puto and its sequel, The New Me. 


	4. Ron's Boring Life

Disclaimer: I own nothing, cept the alternate universe. JK Rowling owns all else  
  
Chapter 4: Ron's POV  
  
It was the 3rd day of school, and Ron was not very happy. The people in his class were not the most enjoyable. They all sat around trying to figure out their homework (to no avail) and when bored would break out in scuffles because someone said something of negative connotation to their best friend. For the most part, Ron just stuck to himself. It was all he could do. One of the girls, Lavender, was pretty cool, a bit ditsy though. Millicent wasn't the nicest person there was however. Ron sighed. He wished he could have been in the same house as Harry, but Harry was in Slytherin with Fred and George.  
  
He looked down at his homework, Charms. He had to write an essay about Wingardium Leviosa, the spell they were now learning. Harry was in that class, but wasn't allowed to sit by him. It could be the ruin of them both, because everyone knew that Slytherins sat by no one else but other Slytherins. It wasn't cool to say the least. Then of course there was that Hermione girl. She was so annoying. Always raising her hand and answering questions. Ravenclaw had to have 500 points by now, just from her. All he had managed to do was lose Hufflepuff 20 by dropping a jar in Snape's class. Snape only seemed to like Slytherin's and maybe the Ravenclaws, because they were so smart.  
  
Ron closed his book, he'd finish his homework later. A plus about being in Hufflepuff, is that it seemed he might get top grades in his house. He stood up and walked out of the common room towards the library.  
  
He was on his way, walking, when suddenly he bumped into somebody. "Excuse me," He said, but there was no time for an answer when someone else bumped into both of them.  
  
"Will you two watch where you're going!" A voice snapped. Ron looked up. It was Hermione.  
  
"Sorry," He said, "I was thinking,"  
  
"Yeah, me too," another voice said, it was Harry.  
  
Hermione relaxed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess me too." She paused, looking thoughtful, "Isn't school great?"  
  
"Sure," Ron mumbled incoherently.  
  
"Besides Snape, I guess so," Harry said. Hermione and Ron nodded in agreement.  
  
"Where are you guys off to?" Ron asked.  
  
"The library," they responded simultaneously.  
  
Ron thought for a moment. "Wanna study together, I've gotta look up stuff for that Potions essay."  
  
"I thought Slytherin's and Hufflepuffs weren't supposed to be seen together," Harry asked.  
  
Ron shrugged, "who cares, I've got no other friends anyways."  
  
"Okay," Harry agreed, "I just hope Fred and George don't see us all hanging out together."  
  
Ron laughed, "me too." And so the three not-yet-friends started off together. Suddenly up ahead Malfoy came running past them.  
  
"What's up with him?" Hermione asked.  
  
"No clue" Harry responded. In the distance they heard a cackle.  
  
"It's Peeves!! Run!!" Ron shouted. They took off in the opposite direction. Being caught by Peeves was the last thing they wanted.  
  
They ran in and out of corridors and up and down stairs until they finally opened a door and slammed it behind them.  
  
"That was close," Harry said breathlessly.  
  
"Mind you, Peeves may have been better," Hermione said.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Harry asked.  
  
Hermione pointed ahead.  
  
It was a big ugly three-headed dog. Like the one that guards the gates of Hades!! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron cried, "Not a big ugly three-headed dog!!"  
  
"What's wrong with you two?" Harry asked. "It's just a dog."  
  
"Have you seen its heads?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Big deal," Harry said. "He's cute!"  
  
"Don't know where you came from brother," Ron said, "but I'm getting out of here." He reached for the door and pulled it open, then raced for the Hufflepuff tower. His biggest fear had just come true. He had met a big ugly three-headed dog. If only he had his pet spiders to scare the dog away.  
  
As soon as he reached Hufflepuff's common room, he collapsed in a chair by the fire. His stomach moaned. He couldn't wait to eat the greasy Hogwart's dinner. That would make his day. After that, he'd take a nice long bubble bath with his pink bubbles, then put on his pajama's and dream of sugarplums.  
  
"I wish I were magic," He moaned, "then I could just magic my homework done and magic some dinner."  
  
"Hello, you are magic," said a voice on his left shoulder.  
  
"Yes, but it's not to do homework with," said a voice on his right.  
  
"Yes it is, most kids just aren't smart enough to realize it," said the voice on his left.  
  
"No, most kids aren't stupid enough to try it," said the voice on the right.  
  
"Go on, magic your homework done," said the left.  
  
"Don't do it" said the right.  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"No,"  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"No,"  
  
"He's uglier"  
  
"I'm an angel, you're uglier,"  
  
"No, you"  
  
"No, you"  
  
"Arrrrggh!" said Ron, "go away!!"  
  
Millicent looked up at him, "what did you say?"  
  
"Go away!"  
  
Suddenly her older sister loomed above him, "Nobody tells my sister to go away."  
  
And everything went black.When Ron awoke he saw a toilet seat floating above him. "What the." he rubbed his eyes, it still loomed there. "Where am I?"  
  
"Thought you'd like it bro!" Said Fred.  
  
"Heard what happened." Said George.  
  
"Did the angel and the devil come to visit you?"  
  
"Too bad,"  
  
"Listen, we've gotta go clip our toenails and trim our hair, but hope you get well soon."  
  
Ron heard a door shut. They were sooo funny. Ron was glad they were his brothers.  
  
He looked on the stand beside him. There was a letter. He opened it. It began to sing  
Get well soon!!!!  
  
Ron closed it, who would send him that? It was kinda odd, but it made him think of an alternate universe in which Harry got a singing card from his sister.  
  
Ron closed his eyes. It was going to be an interesting year.  
  
A.N. Hope you liked it, haven't updated this one in awhile, but I was bored and don't have to time to update one of the longer ones. I tried to add some humor, not sure how well I did. Oh well!! PLEASE REVIEW!!  
  
THANKS TO ALL MY PAST REVIEWERS!!  
  
PRONGS 


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